Tied~

Haiz... Too busy to update my blog... Currently having rest from packing~
Tomorrow move house... Not excited or interested..
But i had no choice..
My whole life just get controlled by my family...
WTH!!!
XD
K done with then resting and complaining....
Back to work!
Bye~!

Deep~

This just cant go the way u want it to be sometimes. Lots of people suffer because of this and obviously me and my friends are 1 of the them. Maybe we are not blessed enough to do what we really want. But i know everyone is trying their best to make their wish come true...
Like me, suffering from the pain in my heart is something normal already... No one understands the pain i endure, i hope no 1 does as well. Its unhealthy to endure such pain. I created a barrier so that i wont be hurt again and again and again... But how knows? i got hurt even with such barrier i had... Haha, dunno what to say ar, the only excuse i can give myself is not fated... haha... Someone i wish we never met in the first place and sometimes i really do wish to leave this town like u meantioned....
Truth sometimes can be painful and most of the time shocking... Pretending not to be shocked is nothing easy for me... But making myself not to care bout is is some hard thing~ Haha... No one can run from the truth, so i really have to deal with it. I dont know how to deal with the things i know now... I keep thinking bot it no matter what i am doing. Reading books, Playing Badminton, Playing games, Fitness training and even i bath also it appear in my mind~ This is when the word PEKCHEK is used. Hardly can concentrate what i wanted to do. Haha, God really have fun torturing me...
Yes~! Next monday i going for competition again. This time its a competition that i decided to play for fun. I am injured and i cant partner with the partner who got chance to win the competition. He thought i always angry with him but actually i am not angry with anyone but myself... I did mistakes that even myself cant forgive... I am sorry Lai... So i partner Daryl in this competition... Sorry Daryl, i dont mean ur not good enough to win, its just ur 15! and u still have a long way to go before u can reach the finals of a novice competition. I just want u to have experince in such competition, thats all..
I injured myself again in court today, The pain at my back was really burning... lucky i could endure the pain and played less agressive for the rest of the night... No one really noticed i injured myself, maybe i can go acting liao.. Haha.... I wanan buy pain killer soon. Even now when i am typing my post here i can feel the pain on my back...
See~ pain in the heart and i have to suffer from physical pain as well~! What a life huh? Hope someday i can escape from this kind of life. I know there is 1 east way to escape though.... But it isnt an option i can take now... I dont want to end my life now... There is really too many things i wanna go~! I will put my life in the line until i reaches my goal~! Haha~!!!!
K, i cant wristand the pain already.. gotta go drink something.. will post something more happy next time... Bye~

Steambot~

The continuation of my story last night... After my duck singing, we went Steambot.. First time having steambot with all of them.. Kind of funny... Unluckily it started drizzling while we just started. I insisted not to change the table cos we are too close to the rain... Soon the rain came bigger with strong winds... But actually before the rain really came my back was wet already.. XD
When we start eating.. everyone aimed at the 3-layer pork. We ate like never ate pork before... Soon i was kind of full cos i really ate alot... But the cooking competition between Karen and Chang continued.... They claim that they ate alot cos they cooked alot. Actually it was me, Jme and Cat whos eating... Our hot topic for the night was "Kiasu".. haha.. Well, most student in UCSI have the kiasu spirit. I cant deny myself not being kiasu either. Haha... Unfortunately the 2 kiasu cook keep cooking and the unlucky 3 have to safe the day with our mouths. Haha... Sim joined us but didnt eat. He came cos he was invited by he already eaten. It proofs that he really is a good guy after all since he didnt put us aeroplane.
Sim went of and our eating feast continue~ the oils keep "irrupting" causing damage on us. Kind of funny cos its like we are betting our own life just to wat something. Need to be aware of the irruption cos it hurts~!! Then Jme went for a walk to buy something... Then we actually want to kacau Karen say we prepared something for her coming birthday de... Who knows? i really decided to buy a cake for her at the near by cake house. I went with Jme and the other 3 sit there waiting and didnt know that i decided to buy the cake. When the cake arrived, she still think its a prank... But its real! Jme forget to say " surprise!" which is really funny when she say it after the cake was already cut. Haha.. No photos will be shown in this post because some are not good for health... Oonly those went will understand what i mean.
Happy Birthday Karen~!!!!
thats all for this post... dont really know what to write about the steambot... Its just eating...

Duck~

Lol, dont get negative thoughts because of my title... Its a funny 1, i think.
I went to sing K again today... It all started when i received a message from Chang. He say go out today. Go sing and steambot... I really want the steambot but didnt like the singing idea at all. I cant really sing and its really embarrassing singing in a room with all the pros from my uni... After considering awhile i decided to go lo. We went sang at 2. Oh man... Pros are really pros... totally different from ppl like me. I sang like donald duck sing ar... Then Chang say he sing like old duc, but i think he sing like Gary Chao Ge. Since there were only 2 boys and both call themself duck so i used duck as my title of this post lo.
Yes its embarrasing... can feel the pressure singing with them ar... I still prefer singing in my shower... XD But i am kind of proud also... Not everyone can sing like Donald Duck also~ Haha...
Sang a few songs then i prefer listen instead of singing... And i remember Jme laughed at me.... Haha... I admit it was really funny but kind of stupid too... XD Lucky no ppl record that part ar....
K liao, abit tired and dont really have the mood to type things liao... Will leave the Steambot part for the next post... Nite~~~

Talented?

Yes! School holiday begins! Been waiting for a holiday for a long time... But actually i am a bit worry about my finals' result. I know i didnt really do well in my finals. I hope i dont disappoint my lecturers and parents... Since weeks before our final i noticed everyone is really frustrated about the coming exam. From there i noticed some other things as well. I finally know who is really talented in our school.
There are many student studying diploma in our university. Business, Biotech, Logistic, and some degree student of Commerce. All together about 30 i think... I know most of them but they dont know me... haha is ok.. but i know everyone one of them either they are talented or not.
Haha, now i will start giving our names on who are talented... 1st, Jamie from diploma in logistic. She actually went for a holiday at KL before our stupid final exam. And her result are normally, the top few in her class. Haha, in logistic class of cos is consider top few. Even the msot lazy person is considered top cos there is only 3 person in logistic. Yes she is the number 1 in my logistic class. She got the talent of studying and have very good memory as well. Other than her, i dont really think anyone does have the talent of studying...
Ah wait, there is other 2. Catherine and Elsie from diploma of business and biotech. I really think they are clever and talented in studying as well. There goes for all top in the diploma offered in our school.
I cant say others that are not mentioned in my post are not talented. They are talented as well. For example, Chang have the talent of hardworking. Cant say he not gifted in studies la, just of he uses more of his hardworking talent. If he is not good in any subject he will try his best to get better result. Thats call hardworking! The others who have the talent of hardworking are, Ee Chia, Lee Chin, Justin, Jennifer, Paul, and maybe Karen got some as well. Sorry others not mentioned here i really dont think they have the talent of hardworking.
Others not mentioned are categories as the same category as me. The happy go lucky type. People in this category are narutally blessed. We all have the luck to score in our exams. Not genius but really luck. Most people in this category do thier things just for the sake of passing. The unlucky members in this category are, Me, Benjamin, Ek Han, Michelle, Margaret, and some others...
There are unlucky ones as well. They are my seniors who usually didnt attend class and didnt pass their exams. They are gifted as well! Gifted in wealth! No offence please.. i am just saying the real thing. I dont mean those in my category and those unlucky ones are not hardworking, just not enough~
No matter gifted or not gifted, got talent or not, it doesnt matter. We got each other! We will help each other so that we live the best out of our college life.
I am not talented in anything, but i am lucky i have my friends. Hi 5 to my friends! Haha...

Update~

Haha~ holiday!!! paiseh la~ tired liao... but at least i say something in my blog...
dont say didnt update blog...
so conclusion is... BLOG UPDATED!
nite~!!

Barrier~

Since then, every time i saw your name in Msn i cant forget the unforgettable conversation we had... It was really painful alright and its the truth... I could remember the feeling of warm tears in my eyes... But i wasnt crying... I really didnt...
Tomorrow will be the first day of my final exam. Many of my classmates started today but i spend most of my time at home, study watch tv and slept alot. I dont have the mood to concentrate anymore... Everytime i close my eyes, there are flash back to what happened although i dont want to remember anything about it at all... Now here i am, already past my bed time and i couldnt at all... i experienced insomnia and sometimes i barely slept at night...
Listening to my songs whenever i am sad or troubled... My songs arent updated so they are all old sons that i really like. Haha... I really hate exam period, no one online and no one to talk to... Maybe thats why i my results arent that good. I dont really spend my time revising... Dunno what, but i really like sitting in my computer room alone, it feels like i can do what ever i want here...
Owen always say me emo, i admit it! haha... Emo is not such a bad thing after all. When i emo, i could actually spend time thinking of my miserable life. But sometimes its really a headache. Like now, flash abck of out conversation keeps flashing back none stop. The pain in my heart keeps repeating and i am glad i dont have heart attack by now... No one really understand me, no one understand the pain i endured... but i dont mind... i know i can wrist and it...
Right now, I could feel a barrier between us. I used to be really scare of having barriers of communicating in my life, but now i am actually making the barrier myself. I dont really know why but i think its just because of phobia...
There are so many things that i really want to ask you but every time i type a message, before i send it i will delete it. I would tell myself not to go interrupt whatever u doing there, scared of what happened... It really cant be forgotten..
I think as time pass by, the barrier will grow thicker and thicker until 1 day i may forget your name but i definitely wont forget ur personality... I am not evading from my problems, just i dont know what else to do...
Someday, i will still remember the times when my tears fall and of cause will remember the pain experience i had as it will definitely become a scar in my heart. A permanent scar in my life.....
Dont worry, there is no one to be blamed cos this is just how a life is right? I will just let God decide on my fate from now on...
OK feeling kind of sleepy already... I go sleep and get ready for tomorrow's Financial Accounting Exam. Haha... Bye~ Good night!!

Exams~

Tomorrow will be that start of our school diploma final exams for this semester. Scary huh? nah~ i played Dota since last thursday... No big deal! But i do wish everyone good luck~ Forget all the problems in your life now and concentrate all on studies~! Jia you!!!!!

Insomnia~

Haiz, lately dont have enough sleep. Cant believe i suffer from insomnia again. No matter how tired i am, i just cant sleep at night. I really wonder why.. but at least i got time to take naps in the evening. At night i think i slept for around 2 or 3 hours. Every morning when i wake up i dont feel like going to school and want to go back to sleep.
Insomnia sometimes isnt a bad thing at all. Like last night, i really couldnt sleep at all. Finnally i fall asleep around 3 then i started dreaming. It was really a sweet dream indeed. Although i woke up a few times in the middle of my sleep but somehow my dream manage to continue itself. Not bad huh? haha.. Last night i dreamed of the 1 i love. Something happend and i had to go off to do something. As usual, the hero la. haha... then my life will be endangered or something... dont remember remember.. before i left she was just next to me lo.. how nice... Actually it was a really long dream and many crazy things happened in the front part i think. Before i left, i hugged her and kissed her.. really really happy ar... then i forgot what really happened but i know i woke up because my alarm rang... shouldnt had set the alarm. Haha... i rather life in my dream...
now 11 something lo... i better go sleep earlier... i am really pissed of myself. Gettin insomnia now is pretty bad too. My finals are coming and i hadnt start studying. i have another assignment due on this thursday too. Then lately because of lack of sleep, i cant even play Badminton properly. I have no strength, no speed, my legs are weak, no stamina, and even my footworks are in a mess... Even someone who dunno how to play can win me i think.
k la... gtg o~ o~... good night... sweet dreams to everyone!!

Playboy~?

herm..... erm.... its time to tell the truth... i am not a playboy~ really... and i didnt said that i was either. Maybe i did fall for different girls in a short period of time. But it was because i didnt know who or what i wanted. I realised what i really want before its too late. And i didnt tell anyone about it. So i didnt hurt anyones feelings or what so ever.... haha.. So they dont know bout it. and no one knows. i am NOT a playboy! i was a little "Flower Hearted" but i really changed. I swear i did~!!!!

Highlights~

Haiz.... i said not to complaint about my life again. So i wont, my highlights its bout myself and how i see my friends. Actually i am very angry now. i felt like just off my computer and go back to sleep. But if i do that, i am really gonna turn into a pig. i slept from 4 to 7.25 now almost 1 hour later i go back sleep again? haha...

Back to topic, i promiss myself to change my own life. But there are just certain things that i will never change. That will be on what thing that is done by my friends that will make me hate them! Today i wanna highlight on it. [I, Kevin the silly guy, don't mind being disturbed, bullied or being "look down". But the things i hate the most is, being misunderstood, cheated, or being "put airplane".] this was what i typed on 1 of my previous post. I am not joking... i really meant it.

I tend to believe my friends more than i believe my family. Thats why i always got moody besides of being lonely. I am not so "small gas" until u did something wrong 1 time and i will never talk to u anymore. I tend to do the point accumulating basis on my friends. haha.... Its like when u do something wrong... i deduce ur points. where is no turning back. once deducted u cant gain back what u lost. Once u lost all ur points, you are out of my life. Maybe its no big deal to you but it means alot to me.

BEING MISUNDERSTOOD- i really really hate it alot! i dont simply lie to my friends. so i aspect them to believe me at least by abit. I really hate when they say:" u simply say de la." or act like they believe when they dont. Stop acting! i know what u thinking by just looking at ur face!

BEING PUT AEROPLANE- this, its normal already. many and most of my friends did that. Cant blame them, that is just who they are. They dont even know how to tell someone when they cant make it or suddenly got something more important to do. They just assume other ppl will know it. WTF la! Some never learn form their mistakes but some does. U give me 1 aeroplane and i will remember u for life. Not in a good way though...

CHEATED- this is the main point of my post tonight! And its the thing i really hate the most! Yes i do know when anyone of you cheat me! ur forehead will show the word CHEATER! i damn dont like ppl cheat me. they only day i allow my friends to cheat me is during April Fool. Yes! thats why i am so pissed now! i feel like punching the heater when i was showering just now. but i didnt do it cos i scare got electirc. Haha.... if i die so early i dont have time to hate u! Those who are blacklisted as cheaters in my life. they will never be erased and u will never be forgiven. Today, i found another 1 in my life, a cheater who still think i will believe whatever been said.

I know some of u cheat me. but i didnt say it bout cos u dont want to start arguing or start a fight. So i will just let it be... ur reputation in my heart will be ruined by yourself and 1 day i wont talk to you anymore.... YOU WILL BE CATEGORISED FROM FRIENDS TO FIENDS. DOWN TO HELL YOU GO!!!

Changes~

Really thanks to Chang and Elsie... I finally realized that i changed alot because of loneliness.. Never thought something like that will change me... Thank you... I will slowly change back to the old me where my mindset about life is better. I wont complain my life again. I need to live the best out of my life. So what if i cant be with someone i love? I should make sure that she is happy so i have no worries... haha... then... bout my immature attitude... try lo... i also dont like it... will try lo.. how to? any comment?
Why am i considered immatured at the first place? Can tell me so i can change?

Sweat~

Yo! I just came back not long ago. Spend some time out with parents. Actually i didnt want to go at all. But my mom said "Go la, later go eat porridge at pasar." I was having my dinner then but i quickly agreed to go. Haha, nothing can stop me from food~! At first my parents want to go buy Air-con. It was a long ride to the destination.
While sitting in the car, listening to old songs. I keep thinking about what had happened in my pity life and whats wrong with me. Besides being ugly, fat and short, what else that i am short of? Why i can never be with the 1 i like? I remember i day the 3 of us went lunch together. Ah, the day Paul almost killed me. We went Life Cafe for lunch. He ordered ectra shot and spicy " Malak Mee" for me and Tzun Ern. I dont like to waste food, so i ate everything. It was really really hot! U guys should try it someday. Then when i finished my spicy mee, i saw 1 couple came into the cafe. In the front was a girl. Really not bad looking and the skin very fair. Tzun Ern straight react like, "WoW" The the boyfriend came in. My face straight changed from Spicy face to Bitter face... Tzun Ern gave a huge respond as well and with a word, "SWEAT"
Then, i kept thinking, i got so lousy meh? Ngaiti... Really SWEAT AR!!
Maybe some people dont get what i mean but i lazy explain also. Hope Tzun Ern will read this post and say something about it. Haha...
From then onwards i dont have any self confident anymore... Think of it nia i wanna cry liao... So "Shi Pai" ar.... Ish....
Then i remember i night while i was playing Badminton. I asked Henry about his past and his relationship with the girlfriend. Henry is a nice guy and talk straight to the point. Really STRAIGHT! but its good to know that he isnt lying about anything... Talk, Talk, Talk, then the topic changed to me... I mean he aimed my instead. Say my nose big la those thing, haha ... i knew that no need remind me... He scare me angry so he even said: " Nose big Cute ma!" XD KNS la Henry! haha.... then i remember he saying me Not being mature enough to have a girlfriend. At first i dont really understand what is he trying to say so i dont believe him. But now, i fianlly understand... i am really immature... That is not the only reason why i couldnt be with someone i like but only 1 of the reasonS...
SWEAT AR!!!!! SWEAT AR!!!! Why God so unfair de? I wasnt born in a rich family, nor with a clever brain, nor with good looks, now given me an immature attitude somemore.... SWEAT!

Hate~

I, Kevin the silly guy, don't mind being disturbed, bullied or being "look down". But the things i hate the most is, being misunderstood, cheated, or being "put airplane".

I dunno why i writing this post. Just suddenly feel like writing something. Haha... I did my assignment already this morning. Hope i at least get 20 out of 30. That would be enough already for a last minute job. Now super tired. i dunno what to do. Lazy to study but lazy to sleep too. Weird huh? XD haiz... go first... i go watch tv better. Got time will post something else..

Bye Bye~

Crazy~

Today is Thursday. The time now is 11.33pm. I skipped class today and almost slept the whole day. By now most of my friends will be busy doing Business Communication Assignment 2. Its a free topic proposal where u just need to propose on how to improve your organization. To tell the truth, i haven start my proposal the due date is tomorrow. It weight a lot in our overall marks but i am really tired.
Since weeks ago i experience a lot of bad things in my life. Moody and dilemma. What to do? So tired still have to worry bout my assignments? I give up... The most is either fail or supp. How u aspect me to write a few pages long proposal in 1 night? Crazy!
Oh yeah... I just got scolded because of what i doing now. I am sorry. But it is best you guys go finish your work first. I will think of something not to die to terribly. But for now, i will continue do my crazy things. First is eat my supper while watching Anime. After that maybe i will go to sleep. Kind of tired even though i slept a lot for the day.
Everyone Jia you!!!! Don't give up!

それはとても冷たい。

それは私が恋に落ちるのでしばらくあってしまった。 私はしばらくのためのジレンマにあった。 最初に私はですればいいのか何を知らなかった。私は私が何人かの女の子に同時に恋したことを是認する。 私はすればいいのか何を知らなかった。 それは私のジレンマが始まったときである。時が経つにつれて、私はすればいいのかゆっくり何を知っている。 唯一無二の1つを選んで、私が偽りなく愛する人は容易ではない。私は何人かの女の子の、ない同じ時間のクラッシュを有した。多分私はパートナーを考えるには余りにも孤独である、従って私はする私の生命の大きいべきである。それから私は最終的にだれに私が偽りなく愛し、彼女との余生を過ごしたいと思うか気づく。私は彼女の名前を述べない。 しかし私は彼女述べていることを私が知っている彼女。私は愚かな人のように常にほとんどの場合扱われる。私はまだ私に実際にファウヌスが雑談し、遊ぶことをあった時間を覚えている。 しかし彼女が気遣わない時間がある。それは実際にたくさん傷つく。時々彼女は何ものように起こったちょうど行動できる。それは私はちょうど演じられていたことを私が気づいたときである。 誰も愚かな人として処理の感じを理解しない。私を好まなかったら、なぜ私に擬似希望を与えなさいか。私がそう容易にあきらめないが、が私は私の希望をもうそんなに運ばない。 それは句のようである; より大きければがあれば、より懸命にそれらは落ちる。 私は擬似希望を与えられ、今最終的にそれに気づいた。それは傷つく。それは実際に。私は、私打った壁を、私後悔する叫んだ。私は私の時間を私の自身の愚かさからの自分自身に気づかせる考える。または多分私は続けるべきである。私は知らない。しかし私は疲れ、風邪である。それは傷つく…しかし私は実際にあなたによってこれのように扱われて気にする。 私は、私が実際になぜ気にしないがか知らない。時々それは時々あまりを、私できるそれを暴露傷つける。

This post was specially typed in Japanese so no one could understand. I really want to say something out it. But I am afraid of telling this. Maybe I will only post out an original English post when I am brave enough or when my heart doest hurt that much anymore…
Sorry and Thank you...