Barrier~

Since then, every time i saw your name in Msn i cant forget the unforgettable conversation we had... It was really painful alright and its the truth... I could remember the feeling of warm tears in my eyes... But i wasnt crying... I really didnt...
Tomorrow will be the first day of my final exam. Many of my classmates started today but i spend most of my time at home, study watch tv and slept alot. I dont have the mood to concentrate anymore... Everytime i close my eyes, there are flash back to what happened although i dont want to remember anything about it at all... Now here i am, already past my bed time and i couldnt at all... i experienced insomnia and sometimes i barely slept at night...
Listening to my songs whenever i am sad or troubled... My songs arent updated so they are all old sons that i really like. Haha... I really hate exam period, no one online and no one to talk to... Maybe thats why i my results arent that good. I dont really spend my time revising... Dunno what, but i really like sitting in my computer room alone, it feels like i can do what ever i want here...
Owen always say me emo, i admit it! haha... Emo is not such a bad thing after all. When i emo, i could actually spend time thinking of my miserable life. But sometimes its really a headache. Like now, flash abck of out conversation keeps flashing back none stop. The pain in my heart keeps repeating and i am glad i dont have heart attack by now... No one really understand me, no one understand the pain i endured... but i dont mind... i know i can wrist and it...
Right now, I could feel a barrier between us. I used to be really scare of having barriers of communicating in my life, but now i am actually making the barrier myself. I dont really know why but i think its just because of phobia...
There are so many things that i really want to ask you but every time i type a message, before i send it i will delete it. I would tell myself not to go interrupt whatever u doing there, scared of what happened... It really cant be forgotten..
I think as time pass by, the barrier will grow thicker and thicker until 1 day i may forget your name but i definitely wont forget ur personality... I am not evading from my problems, just i dont know what else to do...
Someday, i will still remember the times when my tears fall and of cause will remember the pain experience i had as it will definitely become a scar in my heart. A permanent scar in my life.....
Dont worry, there is no one to be blamed cos this is just how a life is right? I will just let God decide on my fate from now on...
OK feeling kind of sleepy already... I go sleep and get ready for tomorrow's Financial Accounting Exam. Haha... Bye~ Good night!!