Why?

Time passes, things happened, its how the world works. But why can’t anything in our life be the way that we wanted? Is there a cure or prevention to it? I don't have the answer to it, that's why I am suffering from a dilemma now. It isn't to have dilemma, I am lost, with no idea on what am I going to do about my pity life or what am I suppose to do just for the sake of a better future. It isn't as simple as I thought it would be, and I really want to have sometime for me slowly think about my life and what changes should be done. No one really understands me. I can’t blame anyone but myself. I am the one who kept me from being understood. It’s because I am not a good person and I have lots of bad attitude. Most of my friends think that I am a mama-boy but I do have too much bad attitude and I won’t show it to them because I know it will affect our friendship. I tried very hard to control myself but it’s really hard. I don't know why, but I am still trying my best.
Lately, many things happened in my pity life. My friends got into trouble because of me. And what really embarrassing am I actually let my friends to worry about me. I am really sorry, I got you into trouble. The problem is me, not you. . .
I am too emotional. And I always let my feelings to ruin my life... Why am I born this way? Why am I the only one to face these problems? Why can I love the one I want to love? What am I always to fall in love with someone who I can’t be with? Why am I always being fooled around? Why I never get a better life? Why I can’t even express my feelings out when I wanted to? Why you do you think that I am joking bout how I feel? Why can’t I just end my life?
Why? Why? Why? Because of my dilemma, I even lost my touch on the only game that I play now... How am I supposed to get ready for my coming finals? Why must God treat me like this? Why wont it end?