Deep~

This just cant go the way u want it to be sometimes. Lots of people suffer because of this and obviously me and my friends are 1 of the them. Maybe we are not blessed enough to do what we really want. But i know everyone is trying their best to make their wish come true...
Like me, suffering from the pain in my heart is something normal already... No one understands the pain i endure, i hope no 1 does as well. Its unhealthy to endure such pain. I created a barrier so that i wont be hurt again and again and again... But how knows? i got hurt even with such barrier i had... Haha, dunno what to say ar, the only excuse i can give myself is not fated... haha... Someone i wish we never met in the first place and sometimes i really do wish to leave this town like u meantioned....
Truth sometimes can be painful and most of the time shocking... Pretending not to be shocked is nothing easy for me... But making myself not to care bout is is some hard thing~ Haha... No one can run from the truth, so i really have to deal with it. I dont know how to deal with the things i know now... I keep thinking bot it no matter what i am doing. Reading books, Playing Badminton, Playing games, Fitness training and even i bath also it appear in my mind~ This is when the word PEKCHEK is used. Hardly can concentrate what i wanted to do. Haha, God really have fun torturing me...
Yes~! Next monday i going for competition again. This time its a competition that i decided to play for fun. I am injured and i cant partner with the partner who got chance to win the competition. He thought i always angry with him but actually i am not angry with anyone but myself... I did mistakes that even myself cant forgive... I am sorry Lai... So i partner Daryl in this competition... Sorry Daryl, i dont mean ur not good enough to win, its just ur 15! and u still have a long way to go before u can reach the finals of a novice competition. I just want u to have experince in such competition, thats all..
I injured myself again in court today, The pain at my back was really burning... lucky i could endure the pain and played less agressive for the rest of the night... No one really noticed i injured myself, maybe i can go acting liao.. Haha.... I wanan buy pain killer soon. Even now when i am typing my post here i can feel the pain on my back...
See~ pain in the heart and i have to suffer from physical pain as well~! What a life huh? Hope someday i can escape from this kind of life. I know there is 1 east way to escape though.... But it isnt an option i can take now... I dont want to end my life now... There is really too many things i wanna go~! I will put my life in the line until i reaches my goal~! Haha~!!!!
K, i cant wristand the pain already.. gotta go drink something.. will post something more happy next time... Bye~